Jeff Crist
A question and answer session with Speak Out Reporter, Jim Lawson, and Jeff Crist of Covenant House
A question and answer session with Speak Out Reporter, Jim Lawson, and Jeff Crist of Covenant House
"One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching."
This week, Speak Out reporter, Jim Lawson, continues with a series of stories spotlighting outstanding leaders of the local community.
When asked to detail his experiences as a single "gay" father, Jeff told WVQN that he does not think of himself as a "gay" parent. "I am just a parent like everyone else."
Jeff: I think that teaching him (my 14 year old son) not to judge people and to be open to people from different backgrounds is an important thing to teach any child. My son has such a great personality and it's sometimes funny seeing him interact with my friends. I've exposed him to a whole different world and I hope the he appreciates that.
Jim: Is your son supportive of your lifestyle?
Jeff: Since my son was very young, I thought a lot about how and when I would tell him that I am gay. I read books, searched the Internet for support, and talked to friends about it. My relationship with my son is very important to me. I came out to him a little over two years ago. At first, he didn't believe me. It took him almost three weeks to realize that I was
serious, because I joke around with him a lot. He was so funny when he realized that I wasn't kidding him! He told me that I was the last person that he would think would be gay. It really opened his eyes. He attends a very conservative church. His mother isn't as supportive as I would like, but the bottom line is that he loves me and he knows that I love him. He's a great kid.
Jim: Describe your relationship with him.
Jeff: Growing up, my dad constantly told my brother and me that he loved us. That's actually one of the best memories I have of my dad. As a child, knowing that your parents love you, and feeling that love at home, is one of the most special feelings that a child can have. I have incorporated that into the way I parent my son. We have a great time together, whether it's at home playing board games, or at the YMCA playing basketball. We truly enjoy the time we spend together, and if I've done my job correctly, he'll treasure those memories for the rest of his life. I know that I will.
Jim: What obstacles, if any, have you encountered by being openly gay?
Jeff: I really haven't experienced any obstacles, so to speak. I don't wear my PRIDE T-shirts when we are going out together in case we run into his friends, because I don't want to embarrass him, and I worry about him being teased at school, but besides that, it hasn't been a big deal. People who know me know my heart and that my son's best interest is my #1 priority.
Jim: To anyone who might be a bit critical of the fact that you are not comfortable wearing PRIDE T-shirts during activities with your son, let me clarify that you are very openly active in the LGBT community and that this is a matter of concern for your son's welfare and making his welfare your priority. There is still a lot of prejudice in the world.
You are actually currently vice president of Rainbow Pride of WV. Tell us about this organization. What are their goals as well as your personal goals for the LGBT community in 2010?
Jeff: One of the best decisions that I've made was to become involved with our Pride organization. If you would have told me five years ago that I would be the vice president of Pride right now, I would have thought you were crazy. There have been so many dedicated, hard-working people who have been involved way before me, and I have a much better appreciation for them now. That's for sure! It's not an easy job. We are currently focused on growing our membership, increasing our profile in the community, and expanding our base of support beyond the LGBT community. We have lots of straight allies who would support us if we asked. I would say that those three things are our top priorities right now.
Jim: You manage a new HIV prevention program that targets gay/bisexual men between the ages of 18-29 in Charleston and Beckley. Tell us about the mission of this organization and why it is important to have an outreach support group that specifically targets men in this age group.
Jeff: The mission of our Mpowerment Program is to create a social network for young men outside of the bar scene, and, while they are participating in events and activities, incorporate an HIV prevention message in all that we do. This is a very important program for young gay/bisexual men right now, because recent studies have shown that young gay men aren't engaging in safer sex in the same numbers that they did in the 1980's and 1990's. In addition to feeling the invincibility that most young people have, young gay men also have the perception that all they have to do is take medicine if they contract HIV and they will be fine. As we know, that is far from the truth. There is also not a lot of HIV prevention messages within the public arena like there used to be. It's almost as if people have forgotten that the threat is still out there.
Jim: You lend a lot of energy to the smoking cessation program that is funded by the Division for Tobacco Prevention, which is part of the Department of Health and Human Resources. How successful do you feel the program has been within the local community?
Jeff: We have been well received with the LGBT community. Covenant House has a long tradition of supporting the gay community. So, in many ways, this is a perfect fit for our organization. Our AIDS program is well regarded as well, and it's consistent with our mission of improving the health and welfare of the LGBT community. I am constantly thinking of creative ways to market our smoking cessation classes within our community.
Jim: Are you a former smoker yourself?
Jeff: Unfortunately, I am. I started smoking after my divorce when I was 30 years old. Until then, I had never tried smoking before. I was hanging out with people who smoked, and looking back, I think I did it to fit in with my new social circle. I tell people that I suffered from Superman Syndrome at the time. I didn't think I would ever get addicted to cigarettes.
Jim: Detail your mission and aspirations for this program.
Jeff: You know, I try to be very careful about how I promote the cessation program. I don't want people to think that I'm nagging them or that I'm trying to make them feel guilty or ashamed for smoking. We all quit for different reasons and at different times in our lives. Unless people want to quit, there's no need for them to try. I just want people to know that we're here for them and will support them whenever they're ready to quit.
Jim: You have said that you feel like you have the best job in the world, what are some of the rewards of doing what you do for Covenant House?
Jeff: I absolutely do have the best job in the world. Covenant House has become a very important part of my life. Everyday, I see how important our work is to people. For the first time in my life, I have found this happy place--a place where I can work and know that my work is benefiting people. My job also allows me to satisfy my personal interests as well, by volunteering for PRIDE and a vocational work for the LGBT community. I can't imagine a better fit for me personally or professionally.
Jim: How have you grown personally through your experiences and doors that have opened for you through your work?
Jeff: I've learned a lot since I started working here. It's humbling really. It took me awhile to adjust, actually. I had what I call "survivor's guilt" when I first started working here got to know some of the people involved in our AIDS program. Anyone who has ever had unprotected sex, even one time, could easily find themselves in a totally different situation. People with HIV aren't any different than the rest of us. We're just the lucky ones.
Jim: Are there times when you are disheartened by the people and situations you are exposed to through your career and your volunteer work?
Jeff: You know, some of the people we serve take advantage , there's no doubt about it. But, that's a small minority of people. I get my inspiration from the 95 percent of people who truly need help and who appreciate it. It is so satisfying to be able to help people meet their needs. Through my volunteer activities and work, I get to meet all kinds of wonderful people who have done so much more for others than I have.
Jim: Which former or current world leader would you say has inspired you the most?
Jeff: That's tough. I would have to say Nelson Mandela.
Jim: Do you have a certain quote or philosophy of life that inspires you and keeps you moving when things get tough?
Jeff: "One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching."
Jim: Jeff is currently helping to plan a bowling fundraiser for WV Free, an organization in West Virginia that works hard to make sure women continue to have the right to choose if they want or need an abortion. They are constantly working to defend women's rights.
Jeff: My good friend, Margaret Chapman, who leads the organization asked me if I would help her, since I helped plan a successful fundraiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters for several years. The event is planned for Saturday, April tenth at 3 PM at Venture Lanes in St. Albans. We are currently looking for people to form teams of five.
Jim: WVAS QUEER NEWS applauds Jeff Crist and his efforts to make the community a better place to live in. He is one of five finalist for WVQN's Man of the Year Award. The winner will be announced in March at the Terry Awards in Parkersburg, WV.
For information on any of the the organizations or events mentioned in this article contact Jeff Crist at:
Jeff Crist
Development Director
Covenant House
600 Shrewsbury Street
Charleston, WV 25301
(304)344-8053 ext. 18
(304)421-4669 cell
Photos courtesy of Mike Sword
