Two Sides to Every Story

By Kevin and Chris

Testing Positive:  How Will You Respond?

On March 26, 2004, the United States Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved a new HIV test, one that can be done without using a needle. This test, called the OraQuick Rapid HIV Test for Oral Fluid, provides results in 20 minutes using saliva. This test can detect only HIV type 1 (HIV-1) antibodies.

In October 2004, OraSure Technologies, Inc, the maker of the test, announced that it had FDA approval for a new rapid test that can detect antibodies to both HIV-1 and HIV type 2 (HIV-2). This is called the OraQuick Advance Rapid HIV-1/2 Antibody Test. It can provide results in 20 minutes using saliva, blood, or plasma.

Now, there is really no excuse for not getting tested for HIV.  Many of us are open about our HIV status because it is the responsible, ethical, and moral choice.  However, have you ever thought about how you would react to finding out that the results are POSITIVE?  It is a difficult diagnosis to hear.  But, the thing that can be even more disturbing is the health care provider’s response to your reaction.  That is what I learned three years ago when I had the OraSure Advance Rapid HIV-1/2 test in Morgantown.

First, the nurse swabbed my mouth and stuck the Q-Tip type apparatus into a liquid.  She informed me that we would have the results in 20 minutes.  During that 20 minute time period, she asked me how I would be able to handle the outcome of the test showed I had HIV.  My response was, “The doctor told me that there are pills to treat the disease and that it is not a death sentence these days.”  She assured me that the information the doctor had given me was correct.  She continued to ask me questions and pose ‘What If’ scenarios.  She asked, “What if this test shows you are HIV Positive?”  I said, “Well, I guess I will take the appropriate medicine and follow the doctor’s orders.”  She proceeded to question me, “How can you take this so lightly?”  I replied, “I am not taking this lightly, I am trying to be proactive with this possible diagnosis and illness.”  She then said, “I just don’t know how to read you.”  I assured her, “There is nothing to read.  I am going to do all that I can do to be tested and take the necessary steps to stay healthy.”  She continued, “I just don’t understand you.”

After about 20 minutes had elapsed, she said “Yep, it is showing positive.”  Her ‘light’ response surprised me since she obviously wanted tears or some other outburst from me.  I replied, “Well, I am glad that I know and I am ready to begin treatment.”  She said, “How can you be so cold to this disease?”  I asked, “What do you mean?”  She asked, “Do you want to cry?  Do you need to speak to a counselor?”  I replied, “What good would crying do now?  And, I already have a counselor/therapist in Parkersburg if I need to talk, but I don’t think I will need her at this point.”  The nurse began to rant at this juncture—“How can you be so non-feeling about this situation.  I really don’t know how to read you.”  I replied, “I have feelings, but you seem to be wanting an outward breakdown on my part that will accomplish nothing.”  I continued, “There is no need to ‘cry over spilled milk’.”  She was visibly irritated by my acceptance of this diagnosis and disease.  She said, “Normal people breakdown, fall apart, cry, or at least show strong emotions of some kind.”  I then said to the nurse, “’Normal’ is only a setting on the dryer.  There is nothing ‘NORMAL’ in life.”  She then replied, “I suppose so.”  I jokingly asked, “Do you need comforted?”  At this point, she got up and stormed out of the room saying, “I really don’t understand you, I just don’t understand you at all . . .”  Oddly enough, I began laughing—not out of disrespect, but out of disbelief.  I couldn’t believe that there is a ‘normal’ and ‘expected’ response to this diagnosis.  Yet again, I don’t fit the mold. 

The reality is that we all react differently to bad news.  My advice is to be proactive.  Get tested as soon as possible.  If your test is positive, you can take the necessary steps to mange the illness.  I am blessed with a wonderful doctor in whom I put my full trust and confidence.  You owe it to yourself AND your prospective partners to have all the information.

Kevin Cain

I remember the day my partner tested positive for HIV. I was in Morgantown myself to see my infectious disease doctor. Kevin and I had been together just over a year. In the past few months he had lost an extreme amount of weight was always tired and had a gray look about him.  Many times before his official diagnosis my heart would sink when I looked at him. It was clear by his appearance that death was at his doorstep. At this time I had been battling the disease for 14 years and I knew the signs having been in the danger zone myself.  So when the nurse told him that he was HIV positive he truly was very unmoved and matter of fact about the news, meanwhile I cried I just knew I was going to loose my best friend.  I remember thinking he should not be sick, I should be sick I know how to handle this and how to fight my way out of the dark place he was in.

 The doctor saw Kevin that day but we left the clinic with no medicines for Kevin. We were told that we needed to wait for some blood work before the proper medicines could be prescribed. Again my heart sank. The drive home was quiet, cold and long. In the middle of the drive home a light bulb went off in my head  and I exclaimed we don’t have much time and I cant sit and watch you die I will save you.  I told him that because my t-cells were probably higher I would give him my Aids drugs and we would hope for the best. At first he declined but through tears I insisted.

  That night Kevin began taking the medicines he needed. Within 3 days he was keeping more food down than he had in previous weeks and was feeling somewhat better. I was relieved and felt like I could breathe though we weren’t out of the woods yet.   

 Four weeks later his Doctor called to inform Kevin his prescription was phoned in to the pharmacy. Did we have a month to spare? My heart still tells me to this day, no. From a medical standpoint what we did was wrong but from an emotional standpoint what we did was necessary and I would do it all over again.

Christopher Robertson