Friendships

       Since there’s nothing but a wide variety of commercialized restaurants in Beckley, it’s not uncommon for me to be at one of them with a friend on a Saturday night. And one thing that always bothers me is the fact that it’s always assumed the person I’m with is either my significant other or my sex partner. Mind you, I never explicitly grope my friends when in public, hold their hands, kiss them as if I want them to taste what I ate earlier, or even rub up against them like a cat in heat. Nothing in the world besides the fact that we’re out in public together states that our intimacy level is a notch above friendship. Yet when someone asks--and after I assure them we’re merely friends--a smile creeps on their face and an eyebrow raises in suspicion that, behind closed doors, I‘m secretly screwing the person I‘m with. It’s as if I can’t have male or female friends anymore without judgment; it‘s always linked to sex. I know that after a certain age in childhood, we’re not allowed to have dessert without first having an entrée. So when we reach adulthood, are we no longer allowed to have friends without a relationship?

       Things change so much as we grow up, though. It seems that at a certain age we’re not allowed to have personal lives anymore. Everyone inquires about personal things on a daily basis, not out of concern, but because they‘re just nosey. Sometimes I miss the days on the playground swinging without worries beside my friends. Back then no one got aroused when two girls held hands, and no one thought we were getting it on in behind the slide. Heck, we didn’t even know what sex was at that time--we thought those things in our underwear were merely holes where pee came out of. But now that I’ve gotten older, it’s all about the man in my pants. People wonder who he’s seeing, what’s he doing, how much he’s grown, and when he’s going to find the missing ‘gap’ to complete him. Honestly, it’s all some people care about upon talking to you. It’s not ‘what are your goals?’ or ‘what are your hobbies?’--it’s ‘what is the size of your penis?’. Really, can you pick a person based on the twig and berries beneath their Fruit of the Looms?

       A lot of people don’t really know the person they’re with because the only thing they wanted to know about the other person, initially, dealt with something on their body. Don’t get me wrong--physical attraction is important in a relationship. But if there’s anything I’ve learned from the past, it’s that you have to have more of a connection beyond the physical. Relationships aren’t filling without substance.

       I believe that choosing a person should be like choosing an entrée on a menu at a restaurant--if you take your time and get something you actually want, you’ll enjoy it even more. And if there’s nothing you want on the menu, it’s okay to defy what others think--order a drink, sit around with the magnificent people you know as friends, and enjoy the conversations you‘ll never forget rather than relationships you wish you could...

And that's the final "Live and Learn."  Thanks for reading and allowing me to tell about my life for an amazing year!  I wish everyone the best!  Continue to live, learn, and love...